When I think of love and acceptance, regarding love I think of John Legend
singing “… ‘Cause all of me loves all of you. Love your curves and all your
edges, all your perfect imperfections.” Since I can remember I have dreamed of
finding my “Prince Charming” and living happily ever after. As I got older,
like most teen girls, I wanted a boyfriend. I wanted someone who liked me
for more than a friend. As my high school days went on with not one
boyfriend I became discouraged thinking there was something wrong with me.
Being female with a cleft I thought for sure it was my speech, my teeth, or
perhaps even my minimal scar.

I started college in August 2005 and began dating, the guys I had
relationships with or went on more than a few dates, for the most part liked
me and didn’t seem to care about my cleft. After finishing up my Bachelor’s
in May 2009 I moved to Oklahoma City to continue working on a job I had been
offered in March 2009. Where I was working it was hard to meet new people
and those friends I had made didn’t have any eligible bachelors to set me up with. I began to
get discouraged. I decided to give online dating a go. Most guys were very
clear that they only wanted one thing or we went on one date and either I
was thinking I didn’t want a second date or they were. This continued for
quite some time until I met my ex. My ex claimed to love my cleft but hated
the noise I made because of it and always tormented me for it. I hated it and the way it made me feel. I realized
the error of my ways and kicked him to the curb and yes there were many more
reasons he was not “the one”. I tried online dating again with no luck. I
finally took pretty much everyone’s advice and just stopped looking. Shortly
after the revelation of stopping the crazy search, Dave came into the
picture.

Dave was someone I had known for a few years but didn’t really
“know”, I knew him from when we used to work together but once he changed
jobs I didn’t ever see or talk to him. So in 2013 (at 26 years old) when he
came into a karaoke bar I was shocked because I knew he had been married. I
found out though that he had gotten a divorce. Anyway, things
took its course and Dave asked me out and the rest is history.
Dave is such an amazing man and I really don’t know what I did to
deserve him. He has so many wonderful qualities. One thing that makes my
heart melt is that he loves me for ME, he loves my cleft scar, my cleft
stories, meeting my cleft friends. He doesn’t care about my one missing
tooth (I have a partial but I don’t always wear it depending on what I eat)
and my noise is not a nuisance to him. I love that he loves every aspect of
what makes me Rebecca and I love Dave for exactly who he is no ifs, ands or
buts about it.

I know you might read this and think that will never happen to you,
you will never find an amazing better half to spend the rest of your life
with, but as I have been told and now know, it will happen. Someone is going
to love your cleft, laugh, smile, worriedness, and chick-fil-a tea lovin’
self.

That being said, before I could let someone else love me fully, I
had to first love myself. I love my cleft and I can manage to cover my scar
if it bothers me too much or not smile in a picture with my mouth open if I
don’t want to show the gap but regardless of my imperfections I love me even when I
criticize myself and that shows through and it showed through to Dave as
well.
If you get one thing from this post, love yourself so you can allow someone to love you. Someone will think you
have perfect imperfections just like John Legend sings about. 😉